A Look at Shahrokh Meskoob Memoirs

In the Mood of Youth Age

Mahmoud Fazeli
Translated by Fazel Shirzad

2015-12-29

In the mood of youth age
Shahrokh Meskoob
Publications: H & S Media [1] London
First published: 1393‎
Price: 18 Euro

Hassan Kamshad [2] who was a close friend of Shahrokh Meskoob, researcher, researcher of ‎Shahnameh, translator and author [3], divided the diaries of Meskoob into three parts that first ‎part is from 1342/3/31 to 1342/10/8. Shahrokh stopped to diary writing after four years and a ‎half day. Because "in those years, perhaps in vain, I was afraid that I might be caught innocently ‎by security system, and they would be curious and ask who is s/he? And who is this person? ‎What did you do with this person? And what did you do with that person? So, I fearfully closed ‎my paperwork and I pack it in”. The notes of this age were more internal conflicts and emotional,‎‌ ‌sentimental and youth tensions.‎
Kamshad expressed his reasons to edit and arrange Meskoob, s notes in the introduction and he ‎claims: “I know many individuals do not like, but I'm sure this is what Shahrokh would like to ‎do if he was alive”.  He says in some parts of the notes: “I’m bored of this game, I'm always busy ‎with my honor protection, I’m always thinking about honor, and hiding the names of the people. ‎Times like this, and curse on this impostor age! Curse on it which nurtures the man as an impostor ‎by itself...! “‎
In one of the notes on 1342/3/31, he explained starting of his note writing that: “I have wanted ‎to start this diary writing for five or six months. Perhaps near one year ago, when I started to ‎write “An introduction to Rustam and Esfandiar" for third time, I was like a man who was ‎suffering from shortness of breath and climbing the mountain. I did not have any drill, and I ‎don’t have it now as well, writing is not less than ship and leapfrog, it needs to practice. I ‎thought that exercise is the least benefit of the notes. Besides, if people have sighted eyes, they ‎would see many worthy matters to write. But to see: you should think about it, and note writing ‎is a practice to learn that causes the man opens his eyes. After all, who knows? Perhaps after ‎years, some of these writings would be useful and have a value to use for others. However, I am ‎thinking about it for a long time. But, it is difficult to habituate yourself to something at thirty-‎eight years. Aging man and defiance!? However, now I start, and like anything else that is ‎important to me, I hesitated for a long time, I was struggling with my mind and I‌ ‌pondered about ‎what I want to do. In these cases, I am as a man who wants to jump in cold water. After long ‎hesitation, I toke courage in both hands. I want to write simply and freely. It is not a description ‎of Oedipus and Prometheus or introduction of Rostam and Esfandiar, it is daily events, whether ‎harmful or good one is as Peep Show that people watch it from dawn to dusk, even if it would ‎be vulgar and temporary. But life is full of these vulgar events. Anyway, it is better to short the ‎setup, as if I am suffering from disease in introduction, and if I continue to write introduction, it ‎can be a booklet‌: ‌‎ “An introduction to the notes of a man who just writes introduction”. ‎
The narrator, in every parts of his book, explains the cultural issues and his studied book, without ‎any secrecy in his views: “I have just finished the studding of Bible book “Zoroaster’s words” of ‎Zartosht Bahram Pazhdo. It is Religious – epic text with very superstitious and vulgar theme and ‎is unworthy poem, mostly inflexibility and poor that has nothing poetic content. But the book is ‎very interesting in terms of Zoroastrian’s perception change towards their religion and their ‎misery. The birth and emersion of Zoroaster is with along superstitious, there is not only any ‎evidence of them in Avesta, but also is not any supposition and perception of religion. ‎‎“Zoroaster’s words “is another perception of Mazdaism religion. It is declined by successive ‎failures and misfortune of religious followers. Miracles of Zoroaster are a mixture of vulgar, ‎superficial, Islamic unseemly and Zoroastrian superstitions”. ‎
He continued his writing in this period of history: “I finished the Particular book that is called ‎‎“Mazdaism religion and its influence on Persian literature,". I suffered a lot. In fact, it can take ‎several years to write such a book. The book is full of evidence and authority. But, as all books of ‎the believers, literacy is only factor to write them rather than consciousness. A lot of information ‎is gathered, but conclusions are strange. Subject of the book is implied by its name. After the ‎entire introduction that covered half of the book, you are waiting to see what discussion would ‎be mentioned. All of discussion is that, whether or not, Ferdowsi (poet) have believed to ‎superiority of fire to soil as predecessors. The issues are finished by unrelated words; however, ‎very valuable contents can be available for discussion”.‎
Maskoob has mentioned sohrab Sepehri in his diary as follow: “This evening was the first day of ‎a new exhibition for works of Sohrab Sepehri. He was recently in isolation. He did not leave the ‎house for nearly two months, except occasionally, he was always working continuously. The ‎exhibition was the result of that works. My judgment is meaningless, but I thought about it ‎myself that the exhibition is not as successful as previous exhibitions where each time I found ‎another level in written works of Sohrab and it was very obvious that the painter attempt to new ‎work.  But this time, his works were the sequence of previous works and perhaps repeated ones. ‎Among Artists who we know them, no one is as perseverance and consciousness as Sohrab, and ‎if this perseverance and humility can be continued, he will be success”. ‎
He mentioned his writing and authorship in a part of his notes as follow: “I hate to write. Of ‎course I also hate of this nonsense words that I wrote as notes”. But these days, I am typically ‎wondered and entangled, nobody knows the reason. I also do not know the reason.  I almost ‎continuously read the Tangsir of Sadeq Chubak as well as the Little Prince [4] of poor Antoine ‎de Saint-Exupéry, and I enjoyed. Nobody can say how elegant and poetic writings are these, ‎with what thoughts.  Of course, these are away from the much of masterpieces like poem of ‎Rostam and Esfandiar or Siavash.  And this time, I found myself as scholars and researchers in ‎reading the book, exploring the footnotes, and searching how the words are written. I hate of this ‎mood. I hope that God protect all His servants from foolishness”.‎
Meskoob begun his first newspaper notes by reading the Mughal history of Abbas Eqbal ‎Ashtiani, dated 1394/1/5: “now I finish the end of Jalal ad-Din’s book.  How Manly and reckless ‎he was!  Alas, he had very sad and painful fate as most great –hearted men. Abbas Eqbal ‎criticized him as inflexible and ungenerous historian who was epicurean and drunk wine at the ‎end of life and involved in foolish actions. How nice is it, that I am not a historian. How difficult ‎is to judge on others, and how negligence is there. At that age, Corruption of government system ‎was very extreme and endless, and it is clear very well in few pages of Eqbal’s book. All of ‎people were struggling together, and commanders or generals fell out of frying-pan into the fire ‎to archive parts of city or booty. Poor Jalal ad-Din attempted futilely to prevent an invasion or a ‎disaster. I know and I have said that it is difficult to judge on others, However, I wrote my ‎judgment. I don’t like the formal and historical judgment of Eqbal, but I like my human ‎judgment. Because I like Jalal ad-Din, not as a king but as a wise man who does not bow down, ‎and is a epic man. I sympathize with him, I wish I were a believer to seek mercy for that unhappy ‎brave man. ‎
Meskoob often showed his life as white and black. If his communications delighted him, ‎everything is white and beautiful, and joyful and full of emotion in life: “I got this feeling that ‎life exist in my soul; it is neither in the flourishing rain nor in the fertile soil that covered by ‎rainforest.  Everything is in me and I was full of life. In such a mood, there is infinite expansion ‎and pleasure that included in the entire world. I was with beautiful natural brotherly and ‎uniquely that surrounded me on all sides. I felt the transplanting of forest trees that tied their ‎sticky roots into the earth, and waved their green leaves slowly. All lived together peacefully ‎until to be old and rot and fall on the ground in the close together, and a river that leads itself ‎toward sea from below and top of stones until despite of continuity, it can be separated from its ‎springs and then poured into the sea. Just like us that always escape from our source, but we're ‎always involved by it.” ‎
And if his life is not going well, he writes: “I hate of my useless life. I read different thing mostly ‎a lot, but it cannot satisfy my needs and desire for knowledge. On the other hand, my hands are ‎tied for writing, as fat guy who always dreams of marching. There are many Confusions and ‎concerns in my heart that there is no possibility to remove and treatment them, as a Fire that is ‎flared, it only burns me, as fuel with no Light and heat”. ‎
The book “In the mood of youth age” that is dedicated to notes of Shahrokh Meskoob in the ‎years 1342 to 1346, and is written by special style and literature of him, due to lack of respect to ‎some ethical issues on some parts of his notes, it cannot be published in the country. Because of ‎merely diary of narrator, certainly has less lasting unlike other works of meskoob. But he has ‎been able to show personal emotions and life and trial and error in this period.  The book has no ‎index list, but the print quality is high.

Notes:‎

‎[1] H&S Media
‎[2] “Hassan Kamshad” born in 1304, translator, scholar of Persian literature. He holds a BA in ‎Political Science from Tehran University and, PHD in Persian literature from the University of ‎Cambridge. Books like "in the service of the Peacock Throne", "Middle East", " the Terrible ‎Stalin ", "Pivot of the Universe", "The history of philosophy," "Sophie's World", "What is history" ‎and "Sea of Faith"  are his work in the field of translation. "Founders of modern Persian prose" ‎‎(written in both Persian and English) and "translator, traitor" (written) are  also his written books. ‎For more information see the " self-speech(I)" Oral History Weekly, Issue 134, 10 Mehr 1392, ‎and also See also self-speech (II)" Oral History Weekly, Issue 135, 17 Mehr 1392.‎
‎[3]- To learn more about Shahrokh Meskoob (1384-1302) see the Oral History Weekly, Issue 134, ‎‎10 Mehr 1392.‎
‎[4] Le Petit Prince