In the Mood of Youth Age
Mahmoud Fazeli
Translated by Fazel Shirzad
2015-12-29
In the mood of youth age
Shahrokh Meskoob
Publications: H & S Media [1] London
First published: 1393
Price: 18 Euro
Hassan Kamshad [2] who was a close friend of Shahrokh Meskoob, researcher, researcher of Shahnameh, translator and author [3], divided the diaries of Meskoob into three parts that first part is from 1342/3/31 to 1342/10/8. Shahrokh stopped to diary writing after four years and a half day. Because "in those years, perhaps in vain, I was afraid that I might be caught innocently by security system, and they would be curious and ask who is s/he? And who is this person? What did you do with this person? And what did you do with that person? So, I fearfully closed my paperwork and I pack it in”. The notes of this age were more internal conflicts and emotional, sentimental and youth tensions.
Kamshad expressed his reasons to edit and arrange Meskoob, s notes in the introduction and he claims: “I know many individuals do not like, but I'm sure this is what Shahrokh would like to do if he was alive”. He says in some parts of the notes: “I’m bored of this game, I'm always busy with my honor protection, I’m always thinking about honor, and hiding the names of the people. Times like this, and curse on this impostor age! Curse on it which nurtures the man as an impostor by itself...! “
In one of the notes on 1342/3/31, he explained starting of his note writing that: “I have wanted to start this diary writing for five or six months. Perhaps near one year ago, when I started to write “An introduction to Rustam and Esfandiar" for third time, I was like a man who was suffering from shortness of breath and climbing the mountain. I did not have any drill, and I don’t have it now as well, writing is not less than ship and leapfrog, it needs to practice. I thought that exercise is the least benefit of the notes. Besides, if people have sighted eyes, they would see many worthy matters to write. But to see: you should think about it, and note writing is a practice to learn that causes the man opens his eyes. After all, who knows? Perhaps after years, some of these writings would be useful and have a value to use for others. However, I am thinking about it for a long time. But, it is difficult to habituate yourself to something at thirty-eight years. Aging man and defiance!? However, now I start, and like anything else that is important to me, I hesitated for a long time, I was struggling with my mind and I pondered about what I want to do. In these cases, I am as a man who wants to jump in cold water. After long hesitation, I toke courage in both hands. I want to write simply and freely. It is not a description of Oedipus and Prometheus or introduction of Rostam and Esfandiar, it is daily events, whether harmful or good one is as Peep Show that people watch it from dawn to dusk, even if it would be vulgar and temporary. But life is full of these vulgar events. Anyway, it is better to short the setup, as if I am suffering from disease in introduction, and if I continue to write introduction, it can be a booklet: “An introduction to the notes of a man who just writes introduction”.
The narrator, in every parts of his book, explains the cultural issues and his studied book, without any secrecy in his views: “I have just finished the studding of Bible book “Zoroaster’s words” of Zartosht Bahram Pazhdo. It is Religious – epic text with very superstitious and vulgar theme and is unworthy poem, mostly inflexibility and poor that has nothing poetic content. But the book is very interesting in terms of Zoroastrian’s perception change towards their religion and their misery. The birth and emersion of Zoroaster is with along superstitious, there is not only any evidence of them in Avesta, but also is not any supposition and perception of religion. “Zoroaster’s words “is another perception of Mazdaism religion. It is declined by successive failures and misfortune of religious followers. Miracles of Zoroaster are a mixture of vulgar, superficial, Islamic unseemly and Zoroastrian superstitions”.
He continued his writing in this period of history: “I finished the Particular book that is called “Mazdaism religion and its influence on Persian literature,". I suffered a lot. In fact, it can take several years to write such a book. The book is full of evidence and authority. But, as all books of the believers, literacy is only factor to write them rather than consciousness. A lot of information is gathered, but conclusions are strange. Subject of the book is implied by its name. After the entire introduction that covered half of the book, you are waiting to see what discussion would be mentioned. All of discussion is that, whether or not, Ferdowsi (poet) have believed to superiority of fire to soil as predecessors. The issues are finished by unrelated words; however, very valuable contents can be available for discussion”.
Maskoob has mentioned sohrab Sepehri in his diary as follow: “This evening was the first day of a new exhibition for works of Sohrab Sepehri. He was recently in isolation. He did not leave the house for nearly two months, except occasionally, he was always working continuously. The exhibition was the result of that works. My judgment is meaningless, but I thought about it myself that the exhibition is not as successful as previous exhibitions where each time I found another level in written works of Sohrab and it was very obvious that the painter attempt to new work. But this time, his works were the sequence of previous works and perhaps repeated ones. Among Artists who we know them, no one is as perseverance and consciousness as Sohrab, and if this perseverance and humility can be continued, he will be success”.
He mentioned his writing and authorship in a part of his notes as follow: “I hate to write. Of course I also hate of this nonsense words that I wrote as notes”. But these days, I am typically wondered and entangled, nobody knows the reason. I also do not know the reason. I almost continuously read the Tangsir of Sadeq Chubak as well as the Little Prince [4] of poor Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, and I enjoyed. Nobody can say how elegant and poetic writings are these, with what thoughts. Of course, these are away from the much of masterpieces like poem of Rostam and Esfandiar or Siavash. And this time, I found myself as scholars and researchers in reading the book, exploring the footnotes, and searching how the words are written. I hate of this mood. I hope that God protect all His servants from foolishness”.
Meskoob begun his first newspaper notes by reading the Mughal history of Abbas Eqbal Ashtiani, dated 1394/1/5: “now I finish the end of Jalal ad-Din’s book. How Manly and reckless he was! Alas, he had very sad and painful fate as most great –hearted men. Abbas Eqbal criticized him as inflexible and ungenerous historian who was epicurean and drunk wine at the end of life and involved in foolish actions. How nice is it, that I am not a historian. How difficult is to judge on others, and how negligence is there. At that age, Corruption of government system was very extreme and endless, and it is clear very well in few pages of Eqbal’s book. All of people were struggling together, and commanders or generals fell out of frying-pan into the fire to archive parts of city or booty. Poor Jalal ad-Din attempted futilely to prevent an invasion or a disaster. I know and I have said that it is difficult to judge on others, However, I wrote my judgment. I don’t like the formal and historical judgment of Eqbal, but I like my human judgment. Because I like Jalal ad-Din, not as a king but as a wise man who does not bow down, and is a epic man. I sympathize with him, I wish I were a believer to seek mercy for that unhappy brave man.
Meskoob often showed his life as white and black. If his communications delighted him, everything is white and beautiful, and joyful and full of emotion in life: “I got this feeling that life exist in my soul; it is neither in the flourishing rain nor in the fertile soil that covered by rainforest. Everything is in me and I was full of life. In such a mood, there is infinite expansion and pleasure that included in the entire world. I was with beautiful natural brotherly and uniquely that surrounded me on all sides. I felt the transplanting of forest trees that tied their sticky roots into the earth, and waved their green leaves slowly. All lived together peacefully until to be old and rot and fall on the ground in the close together, and a river that leads itself toward sea from below and top of stones until despite of continuity, it can be separated from its springs and then poured into the sea. Just like us that always escape from our source, but we're always involved by it.”
And if his life is not going well, he writes: “I hate of my useless life. I read different thing mostly a lot, but it cannot satisfy my needs and desire for knowledge. On the other hand, my hands are tied for writing, as fat guy who always dreams of marching. There are many Confusions and concerns in my heart that there is no possibility to remove and treatment them, as a Fire that is flared, it only burns me, as fuel with no Light and heat”.
The book “In the mood of youth age” that is dedicated to notes of Shahrokh Meskoob in the years 1342 to 1346, and is written by special style and literature of him, due to lack of respect to some ethical issues on some parts of his notes, it cannot be published in the country. Because of merely diary of narrator, certainly has less lasting unlike other works of meskoob. But he has been able to show personal emotions and life and trial and error in this period. The book has no index list, but the print quality is high.
Notes:
[1] H&S Media
[2] “Hassan Kamshad” born in 1304, translator, scholar of Persian literature. He holds a BA in Political Science from Tehran University and, PHD in Persian literature from the University of Cambridge. Books like "in the service of the Peacock Throne", "Middle East", " the Terrible Stalin ", "Pivot of the Universe", "The history of philosophy," "Sophie's World", "What is history" and "Sea of Faith" are his work in the field of translation. "Founders of modern Persian prose" (written in both Persian and English) and "translator, traitor" (written) are also his written books. For more information see the " self-speech(I)" Oral History Weekly, Issue 134, 10 Mehr 1392, and also See also self-speech (II)" Oral History Weekly, Issue 135, 17 Mehr 1392.
[3]- To learn more about Shahrokh Meskoob (1384-1302) see the Oral History Weekly, Issue 134, 10 Mehr 1392.
[4] Le Petit Prince
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