Memoirs of Marzieh Hadidchi (Part 18)

2017-11-21

Memoirs of Marzieh Hadidchi (Dabbagh)

Edited by: Mohsen Kazemi

Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company

‎2002 (Persian Version)‎

Translated by: Zahra Hosseinian

After Release from Prison

I released while I was sick and weak physically because of withstanding all those overwhelming tortures. And I could not walk. My wounds had been infectious and my whole body was paining severely, so that I moved hardly. When I dragged myself along the wall in a limping manner and reached to the Toopkhaneh square (Imam Khomeini) while I was wearing a flower-patterned chador on my head, I couldn’t stand on my feet much longer. I sat on a rocky platform and, at the same time, I extended my hand to the cars. But drivers pay no attention to me. Finally, a taxi stopped in front of me. I showed the five Tomans which was given to me in the committee and I said, "Sir! I have only this five Tomans and I want to go to the Ghiasi Street." He felt sorry for me and said: "get in!"

Reaching home, I rang the doorbell several times, but no one opened the door. I guessed that my sister had taken my kids to her home. I borrowed a few Tomans from one of the neighbors and headed to my sister's house, though I was so exhausted. I asked about Rezvaneh, as I arrived to my sister's house; because I thought that I am the main accused and she must be released after me; but that was not true. By hearing "Rezvaneh is still in prison", I couldn’t tolerate any more and fainted. A few moments later I came to life after was drunk some water and sugar. During this time, the family had visited her one or two times. Confused and bewildered I reviewed the past, and remembered some scenes and events. Releasing me and keeping Rezvaneh as a prisoner had become a mystery. I thought very much and came to the conclusion that my release is a conspiracy for identifying the rest of group members, and Rezvaneh is a hostage in order to put pressure on me if necessary. The condition had caused my communications and activities to be in need of more alertness, care, and presence of mind.

A few hours after my release, my father met me. He was very angry and upset. "Marzieh! I don’t forgive you! You’ve eight kids and shouldn’t go after these things. Other people, who don’t have the same problems, can take part in such activities better and with relief. You can’t do it alone; does one swallow make a summer? And..."

He wanted to convinced me to stop fighting and to be busy dealing with my households by saying what he didn’t believe in; he could not bear his daughter to be in trouble and suffer hardness. I said, "If this is so, then why Hazrat Zeinab (SA)," I asked, "despite being captured in their hands, made such a speech in the Yazid meeting and dishonored him? Why Hazrat Zahra (SA) didn’t remain silent after the demise of the Prophet (PBUH), and spoke in defense of Imam Ali (AS)? Why Somayeh Khatoon endure all those tortures? Why? And why?" My father replied, "Don’t compare the good’s [immaculate] acts with yours!" and ended the conversation.

My family tried to treat my wounds, but it was useless. The next day I visited a doctor and the diagnosis was that I should be operated quickly due to the gravity of condition.

I was hospitalized in Aria Hospital. My whole body was inflamed; the infection of wounds extended from my throat to my knees, and it had made my vital situation complicated and critical. A group of proficient surgeons transplanted a part of my thigh skin to my waist; and removed my uterus due to the severity of the infection. I was hospitalized about forty days, namely one day in exchange for each day of being prisoned and tortured! During this period my wounds improved and I felt better.

When I came back home from hospital, it was just the start of being reproached, blamed, and seeing unkindness behaviors. The encounters were very stinging and bitter. I was not invited to any family parties; nobody visited us. We were completely rejected, and everyone looked down on us.

Family relationships diminished. Everybody was afraid to get into trouble; hence they avoided any contact with us. Those days of despair and loneliness were indeed hard times. There were many financial, economical, and mental problems in our life. The main feed of my children was bread and yogurt and potatoes. And the hardest problem was that I could not retell the pain of loneliness to someone; and the pain made us to be very worried and impatient was that Rezvaneh was in prison and far away from us. How terrible it is for a mother whose dear child was suffered such tortures; they did not even allow us to visit her. We stood out against this situation for four months and were silent. The only way was trust in God and being patient, and waiting...

I was imprisoned again

After a while, when SAVAK agents found that their pursuit and watch were in vain and my release was useless for them, and nobody connected me to be identified and arrested, sent a letter to me to introduce myself to the prison. After receiving the summons, I consulted with some members of our group. After thinking about this issue, I came to the conclusion that if the SAVAK agents wanted to re-arrest me, they had my address and knew where my house was, so I decided to let them to act and show that there was a compulsory in their call; and it was not advisable for me that I stepped into the slaughterhouse.

A few days after receiving the summons, as I expected one night they came, and aggressively took me again to the joint committee blindfolded and arms-bound. All cells in committee were solitary confinement. But if they wanted to get more information from prisoners, they confined them in one cell for a while. The prisoners, of course, spent very hard times due to the narrowness of space. If the number of arrests and arrested people exceeded the capacity of the cells, more than one person was confined in each cell. I also had difficult days in such a space.

Torturing and beating began again and lasted about four months in a brutal manner. And I, whose deadly infectious disease had recently improved, couldn’t tolerate the hard hits of whip and baton; especially standing up the tortures by Apollo[1] device was impossible. It was a torture tool which let the prisoners’ shouts come nowhere except their own ears.

Engineer Gheitani, Sadiq and Mehdi Sajjadi (two brothers), Behjat Teeftakchi, Hossein and Mohsen Araghchee (two brothers), and Roshanravan, all were in prison. It was confirmed that their confessions was caused my arrest. They were university students in Tehran who were in contact with me during the fighting.

These young and revolutionary students could not endure tortures, so they had confessed and spoke about my role. One of them was my husband’s nephew. He explicitly had said, "My uncle’s wife was in contact with me. She suggested a course of actions and guided me." There was no way for concealing. Therefore, I told some neutral or useless information to the interrogators, so that they left me alone. But they were not simpleton. They realized that the information was not effective, so increased their pressures and tortures, as far as my whole body completely hurt and the old wounds again infected and I was affected by new wounds which were infected in a short time. After my sickness was developed, they transferred me to the Qasr Prison.

On the very first day at the Qasr Prison, I saw my dear suffered child, Rezvaneh. Ten days later she was released. During this time, though I suffered from injuries and wounds, but being beside Rezvaneh calmed me down, and of course, her release relieved me more.

To be continued…