Daughter of Sheena (23)

Behnaz Zarrabizadeh

Daughter of Sheena-23
Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi Kanaan
Wife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi Hajir
Memory writer: Behnaz Zarrabizadeh
Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)
Translated by Zahra Hosseinian

Hamedan was very different from Qayesh. Everything and everywhere was strange for me. Distance from my Haj Agha made me restless at the first days; so that out of sight of Samad, I would sit and cry my eyes out sometimes. Moving there had just one good point. I would see Samad every day. He would come home for lunching on first week. We would lunch together. He would play with babies a little, then would drink a tea and go to his work until night. His work was hard. It was the beginning of the Islamic Revolution and the peak sabotage of terrorists and hypocrites. Samad would fight with small group’s activities. It was dangerous work.
Our moving to Hamadan also had another advantage. Now friends and families would know they have a place to stay. Hopefully they would set off to Hamedan if they would want to buy something or visit a doctor. So, most days I had guest. After passing one month, Samad’s brother, Teymoor, came to our house and lived with us. He was studying. There was no guidance school in Qayesh. Most of the children would go to Razan to study, but commuting was very hard. Therefore, Samad brought Teymoor to our own house. Now, I really had a lot of works; looking after babies, entertaining the guests and daily tasks would make me tired.
Samad did not come home for lunch that day. It was afternoon. Teymoor was busy doing his homework that we heard the ring of doorbell. He went out and opened the door. Through the window I looked at courtyard, it was my brother-in-law, Sattar. He was speaking with Teymoor. Shortly after Teymoor came into room, put on his clothes, and said: “I go with Sattar to buy book and notebook.”
I was surprised and said: “This very yesterday Samad bought you a lot of books and notebooks.”
Hurry to go, he said: “We’ll come back soon.”
Suspected, I said: ‘Why Sattar doesn’t come into the room.”
He said: “We’ll come at supper-time.”, as he went out of the room.
I got worried. I said to myself maybe something happened for Samad. But I consoled myself soon and said: “No, nothing has happened. As Samad isn’t at home, Sattar has felt embarrassed to come in. Definitely they want to go to the court and see Samad first and then come back home at night together.” A few hours later, near the sunset, again the door was knocked. This time it was my father-in-law, in deplorable state. As I opened the door, I asked: “What's wrong? What has happened?” In tantrum, my husband's father came into the room and sat in a corner. He didn’t say the truth, whatever I insisted to tell me what has happened. He said: “Why should something be happening?! I’ve missed my kids. I’ve come to see Samad and Teymoor.”
Should I believe? No, I did not. But I had to cook something for dinner. I felt apprehension very much. I was overwhelmed by awkward and distressed thoughts that again the door was knocked. In panic I ran toward the door. As I opened the door I saw a minibus has been parked in front of the house and Haj Agha, Shirinjan, my brother-in-law and family were getting out of it. I fell to the ground by the door. I had been sure something has happened. Whatever I swore them to say what has happened; nobody gave me a true and complete answer. All of them just would say: “Samad has sent a message to come here and drop in on you.”
I had to believe it, but I did not. I knew they were lying. If they were telling the truth, then, why Samad hadn’t come home yet? Where had Teymoor and his brother gone? Why they hadn’t returned yet. How suddenly all these guests had missed us.
I had to cook dinner for my guests. I went into the kitchen. I cooked and cried. Finally, the dinner got prepared. But there was no news of Samad and his brothers. I served dinner perforce. After dinner I prepared beds for my guests with a few quilt and mattress that we had, shortly after guests dropped off. But I myself couldn’t sleep. I was waiting for Samad. Worry and anxiety didn’t let me sleep. I jumped and let my eyes rest on the darkness in the courtyard, as I heard a click sound. But there were neither any news of Samad nor Teymoor and Sattar.

To be continued…