A part of Fatemeh Tabatabais memories; Wife of Hojjat al-Islam Seyyed Ahmad Khomeini

Along with Dr. Chamran in Tyre

Selected by: Faezeh Sasanikhah
Translated by: Fazel Shirzad

2023-6-29

One day, my brother Sadiq and aunt Betoul and I went to Jebel Aamal Industrial Institute in Tyre at the invitation of Dr. Chamran. We entered Dr. Chamran's residence, which was in the same institution. The passion and interest of the teenagers who lived there for Dr. Chamran was very impressive. Dr. Chamran also hugged them warmly. We entered his room. A room that was arranged with very simple and few things. Above all, books and weapons were seen there. After a few minutes, Sadiq and the Dr. Chamran went out to prepare food. In the meantime, we went to the room with Aunt Betul and arranged the things there. They came back and after having a simple dinner, we started talking. The electricity in the city had been cut off and the candles that were there indicated that the electricity would be cut off most of the night. The light of the candle gave a certain purity to our gathering.

Dr. Chamran chose a part of his manuscripts in the candle light and read it to us with emotion. Then he told us about Dr. Shariati and with Sadiq, they reviewed their memories with Shariati, which was attractive and pleasant for me and my aunt. Then they selected parts of Dr. Shariati's writings and started reading them. Some of those sentences are stuck in my memory.

How good faith is. What evil are those who try to deprive people of it, what oppressors they are, these seemingly lovers of humanity.

If there is no faith, life has no support, if there is no love, what fire can warm life, if there is no prayer, what worthy work can life be spent on. What is the purpose of staying if there is no expectation of a Christian, an Imam, a promise in the heart? If there is no appointment, if there is no visit, why go? I wonder how those who want to take God from existence expect man to breathe in the void...

Dr. Chamran took a breath, flipped another book and read.

Blessed is Muhammad (pbuh) who cried in front of God; That your words, your verses of revelation, your green Quran are not enough for my heart, mark me on an horse and guide me on my journey! Behind the curtain of these words, I die from the pain of longing to meet; ...and God placed his lover on a starry midnight, and took him from the Kaaba to the Aqsa temple (the farthest temple); the heavens, the floors... as far as Gabriel's feather burns.

So he quoted Dr. Shariati as saying:

I was sleeping when I found myself in a large hall in the middle of a crowd. Someone stood up from the crowd and asked me, "What is life?" Without hesitation or reflection, I said: Life means "bread", "freedom", "culture" and "love".

Then he read a passage from his book about freedom:

O freedom, I love you, I need you, I love you. Life is difficult without you. Your tall and free stature is the minaret of my temple, I wish I could live with you, I would love you, I would breathe in you and I would breathe in you, oh freedom! I'm tired of oppression, I'm tired of chains, I'm tired of chains, and I'm tired of everything and everyone who imprisons you... My life is because of you, I'm the worshiper of my freedom, and my teacher is Ali (pbuh), a fearless and weak man and full of patience.

Dr. Chamran hesitated when he reached the part of the writings, takes a breath. Sometimes he would shed a tear and then he continued the passage. The memory of listening to Shariati's songs with Dr. Chamran's voice created a beautiful and memorable night for everyone.

After reading books, we talked about earthlings. Sadiq asked the Dr. Chamran: Why did you keep quiet about your uncle's recommendation to teach at the university[1] with this information and religious information? I broke his silence and talked about the benefits of his presence at the university and the impact of his personality on students and making them aware of Israel's oppression. Dr. Chamran listened calmly. He spoke to the students and made them aware of Israel's oppression. Chamran listened calmly and said: Being in the university requires a special status. How can I show up in the classroom in military boots and combat clothes? That environment requires a suit and tie and a bag and... How can I enter with the smell of gunpowder in a space full of French perfumes and... How can I come from the impoverished environment of the south, past orphans and orphans who lost their parents on the way to independence and freedom, and enter a college where students live in luxury that is the result of the looting of western statesmen and leaders in this land.

He fell into deep silence again. His silence said many things that prevented us from continuing the discussion.

I tried to ask Dr. Chamran how he left his children with such a gentle nature and refined taste and lives far away from them.[2] A question that everyone wanted to know the answer to, but had not allowed themselves to ask.

At first, Dr. Chamran remained silent in his usual manner and postponed his answer for another time. I had heard from friends about his family's coming from America and their return. Some of them gave them the right and believed that the strictness and inflexibility of Chamran hurt them and maybe this is the reason for their return.

I was waiting for an opportunity to find the answer to my question. Finally the right time has come. Chamran talked about his son drowning in the swimming pool of his home in America and said: When this unfortunate incident happened, my wife called me and told me this news. We cried together on the phone for almost an hour. When my friends asked to come to console me, I refused and said: This is my grief, I have no desire to share it with you. I could not say no to Mr. Sadr alone. They came and I cried with them.

After hearing Dr. Chamran's words, I seized the opportunity and asked him: Why didn't you accompany your family to stay with you? He said: Life here was difficult for them. They had grown up in luxury and could not adapt to this environment, and I would never allow myself to provide a prosperous life for them alongside the orphaned and oppressed children of the south. I said: As I heard, your wife didn't ask much of you and even went to console and visit the suffering families of Suri and when necessary, she even bandaged their wounds. He said: Yes, he used to do this and I told him: All their wounds and sufferings are the result of your government's injustice and aggression. So no matter how much you work for them, you will still owe them. Dr. Chamran's answer did not convince me. I asked: He said: the breads here are doughy and it bothers my stomach; If we get a proper oven, I will bake the bread myself, but did you refuse to do that? He said: Yes, it is so. I live next to people who prepare the same bread with difficulty and their children count the minutes to get a piece of bread. I asked again: What was the need to settle them in the south of Lebanon and in a humble house without comforts where they could not continue their education? Wouldn't it be better for you to consider their situation as well? And according to your uncle's suggestion, you would get an apartment in Beirut suitable for them so that they could study and be with you. He smiled bitterly and said: I could not live a double life. I said: Well, there was a third way. That after their return, you went there from time to time and visited them so that you wouldn't lose contact. Your children also need the love of their father. He said: Yes, I agree, but I never had the opportunity to travel like this. There is a lot of work here. Whenever I thought of leaving here for a few days, the look of these innocent children made me regret. In addition to this, it was possible that the embrace of my children and the love of a father would weaken me in my return and the mission I was responsible for. Then he kept silent and said: Finally, after a few years, my wife informed me that she is going to marry a man whose morals are similar to mine, and she felt happy about this.[3]