SABAH (7)

Memoirs of Sabah Vatankhah

Translated by Natalie Haghverdian
Published by Soore Mehr Publishing Co.

2020-4-28

SABAH (7)

Memoirs of Sabah Vatankhah

Interviewed and Compiled by Fatemeh Doustkami

Translated by Natalie Haghverdian

Published by Soore Mehr Publishing Co.

Persian Version 2019

We collected the food supply in Mitra’s house and she took it to Quran class. The Quran office was in 40-metri Street, near a flower shop called Mohammadi. I was very willing to deliver these items to the families in person and talk to them, but Ms. Abedi was against it and was afraid that these visits might cause problems for the families. On the other hand, these visits could also be problematic for us. Savak, the intelligence service of Shah, had created a very dark atmosphere among public and people believed that they listened to the conversations of private homes through their cabling system and those talking against the regime, will be arrested. 

One night, I found a pamphlet between the books of Shahnaz. It was typed and it was the sayings of those prisoners who were released from Savak in Tehran. They had talked about different torturing methods in it. Shahnaz had hidden the pamphlet among the books and I felt that she did not want me to read it; therefore I took the pamphlet to my bed, hiding it under my clothes. I started reading it with a torch under my blanket. I never forget my feeling while reading that pamphlet. I was thrilled. My heart was beating heavily.

In the pamphlet, a prisoner who had been tortured had said: “… One of the harsh tortures was called Tango. When they performed tango they made us bare, tied our hands and hung us from the ceiling. They beat us with electrical wires and blood started pouring from our head and face, then they extracted a cooked egg from boiling water and shoveled it up our ass. When the egg entered our body, it was like a burning charcoal, our bowels started cooking. We started twisting in pain and they called this movement Tango. Our distressed movement was like a tango dance to them!”

Another person had said: when they could make us confess, they heated the oil and poured it in our mouth while others kept our body and head tied. They also beat the bottom of our feet with electrical wires. Our feet became covered with blisters, and then they made us walk on smashed glasses. Then they sent us to the hospital for treatment so that they could restart their tortures all over again.

My whole body was shacking after reading these articles. My face was covered in sweat and I felt shiver in my body as if I had a cold. By reading each torture, I imagined myself in his/her shoes and felt the pain they had been through. On the other hand I was thinking that Savak will come to our house and take all of us to prison for having and keeping this pamphlet in our home. Even reading it was a big sin, let alone having it.

After reading the pamphlet, I felt so heavy in heart. I wanted to do something. I wanted to defend them. It had been a while that Shahnaz brought the speech cassettes of Mr. Kafi and Mr. Fakhredin Hejazi. These cassettes included religious talks and the descriptions of verses of Quran but among these talks, the speech also included enlightening points. They talked about the injustice acts of Shah and its dynasty on public and encouraged public to speak against these injustices. Their speeches had a big effect on their followers. An effect which kept becoming deeper as time passed.

The same night, I re-write the pamphlet without anyone noticing me. I wanted to give it to others to read it.

The next morning, at school, I told Farah Mahini about the pamphlet. She showed a lot of interest to read it. I told her that I have my handwriting and will give it to her to read.

At the end of school day, I was busy thinking how to handover the pamphlet to Farah. I decided to do it after school hours are finished. I told her nothing about my decision. After the last session, among the crowd, I located Farah. My heart was pounding of stress. My throat was dry and my body was shivering. I sent a salute and handed over the notebook to her, saying: “Farah, this is the geography notebook that you asked for.” Farah took the notebook without a pause or question and put it in her bag.

The next morning Farah came to school, face glowing red of anger. She was very upset. She took me to a corner while we were in the yard and said: “Hey girl, may God give you wisdom! How dare you bring that pamphlet to school? If anybody had reported you to the principal, they will destroy you and your family?!” I said: “you insisted that you wanted to read it. Give it to me to read!” she said: “Yah, I wanted to read it but I did not tell you to bring it to school. We could have exchanged it out of school or at our door or I could come to your place to get it!” I defended myself saying: “I knew how to do it in order not to raise suspicion among other. These writings should not be exchanged in front of others. I handed it to you in public not to raise suspicion. Only you and I knew about it so who could inform the principal about it.”

We had a big argument. Later she told me that she had read the pamphlet through the night and cried. Then she had decided to exchange it among her friends in order to show others the true nature of Shah. She was feeling very bad, just like me. I was feeling bad even days after reading the pamphlet. I could not eat and sleep properly and as soon as I closed my eyes, I could imagine the scenery of the torture. I stumbled like sick people. When my mom asked me, what is wrong. I kept saying that I do not feel well but will be good in a while. 

During those days, a beautiful and revolutionary poem was popular. It was called “I will hang my heart”. The poet was Hashem Tavakoli. When we gathered, we sang it together. The poem had a protesting meaning towards the injustice of the regime. After reading the pamphlet, I felt crying every time I whispered this poem and I started crying. Especially when I reached to this part of the poem:

Finally I will cut my heart with sword!

I will fire my own heart with bullet! I will hit my heart with full force!

I will fill my heart with blood one day or a night

My big Jihad is this

The breath of fight is the first rule of the war

It is the glory of fight between light and religion

Look at how the eye of truth is crying bitterly

Look at how the foot of honor is shaking

Look at how the Quran is burning from the ignorance of human being

Look at how the human is covered in ugly ulcers

Look at how even nowadays Ali is lonely among humans

Look that the head of those defending Ali is covered with blood

In Iran Dokht high school, in third and fourth grades, there were four classes “A”, “B”, “C”, and “D”. Class “A” was for wealthy students. Class “B” was for the excellent and hardworking students. Classes “C” and “D” were for weak students. The school did not count on the last two classes. All students were classified with this category each year. This year, exceptionally, our class “C” included religious and revolutionary students. Except for Mitra, I was in the same class with all my religious friends. Inanloo, Zare, Tadayon, Mohammadi and Houresi were among the students. The thinking structure of all students in our class was monotone and this was a big blessing for us and a challenge for our principal. There were also intelligent and hardworking students in our class too. I remember that once, our Chemistry teacher, raised a question saying: “if anybody can solve this question, I will give her a 20 because the other three classes could not find the answer.” I looked at the question. I knew that the capacity of FE is always two. On the other hand I knew that sometimes FE is combined with O3 (Ozone) in nature. With this perspective, I solved the question and got 20.

We had decorated our class based on our taste. In those days, it was obligatory to hand the picture of Shah above the blackboard. We had no other option, we had to do it but if it was to us, we would not have tolerated it. In order to show our protest, we placed a poster under his picture with a verse of Quran saying: “Those people who compile silver and gold and do not spend it for God, be aware that an awful torture is waiting for you. One day when you are in hell, that wealth will be heated and your forehead and back and sides of body are burnt by that, you will know that this is what you have compiled for yourselves.”[1]

To be continued…