Memoirs of Marzieh Hadidchi (Part 17)

2017-11-14

Memoirs of Marzieh Hadidchi (Dabbagh)

Edited by: Mohsen Kazemi

Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company

‎2002 (Persian Version)‎

Translated by: Zahra Hosseinian

The Stench and Freedom

When I heard what happened to my daughter; the flower of my life garden, there was no end to my deep and strange hate against the regime and agents...

In the new condition, my wounds not only did not improve, but their infection recurred and the annoying smell of it filled the whole cell; and as time went on, it would get worse, so that I was confined to bed.

After a while, Rezvaneh improved physically and mentally. She could stand on his legs and eat a few spoons of food and drink a few drops of water. With this physical condition the agents could take her to the Qasr prison. They did not mention the reason, and I did not know it too.

As Rezvaneh was taken, I got worse and even was no longer able to move. I had fallen in the corner of my cell like a rotting body; until one day, when Nassiri[1] came to the prison for visiting. He visited all the cells and gave some orders. When the door of my cell was opened for him, he went a few steps back because the stench met him. He got angry and told a soldier: "Leave the door open, so the stench goes away, and then I come to see what's going on here!"

He left the place and went to other cells.

During this period, I realized why I was arrested. One day before my daughter to be arrested, I discovered that the one who betrayed me was unfortunately one of the friends whom we counted upon him. I saw he was brought manacled and blindfolded to my cell and they asked him, "You said what did Dabbagh do?" As he did not see me, began to say: "I told you, she duplicated and distributed tapes, spread and posted the leaflets, held training sessions and ..." I was now thinking that how long I should be in jail, because some parts of my activities was revealed.

Nassiri returned. At that time I did not know him. Later, I learned that I had come face to face with a devil. But his behavior and the flattery of other committee officials on him showed that he is an influential and important person. While he had a white cloth on his nose and mouth he said "What do you do here old woman?" I was thirty-four, but I was so withered and faded that he called me old woman. "Don’t ask me," I replied, "ask those who have brought me here, ask Parviz. I have eight little kids but I have been taken here and tortured. My young daughter has been harassed in front of my eyes. Do you know what they did to her?! Do you know what happened to her?! You see my situation as well. There is no healthy place in my body; my whole body has infected, and the infection is about to spread to my heart and cause death. There is no doctor, not any medication; I wish to I die soon and get rid of all these cruelty and crimes..." I didn’t want to stop my verbal attack, but Nassiri interrupted me, "What have you done? What have you been arrested for?" Pretending I didn’t know anything, I answered," I’ve done nothing. My crime is that I wanted my sons-in-law become doctors and engineers, and my daughters to be happy." Nassiri said, "What nonsense!" Verbally I swore and continued, "It's been a few days that there is nobody to look after my kids; my husband has been sent on a mission. I don’t know and heard what happened to them. It’s not clear where one of my daughters have been taken; they said she is in jail, but it’s not known..." Nassiri asked me to write my words, but I pretended that I’m illiterate and I don’t even know how to read. So he yelled reproachfully, "old woman! You neither can write nor read, so what did you want to do; you wished to kill the Shah?! Why do you look for trouble? And..." I said: "I told you… I only wanted to make my seven daughters’ future, I wanted they marry with a doctor or an engineer..." He smirked and left the cell.

At 6 pm, they came and asked me to follow them. While I had put one of my hands on the wall and the other one on my knee, I entered a room lamely. I saw Nassiri there. After a short silence, he said, "Old woman! Have you ever thought that if you go out what your husband will do to you?" A spark of hope sparkled in my mind and I replied very cleverly: "I think he’ll get a divorce from me, because he never can tolerate his wife have been in prison. He completely disagrees with these relationships and activities." He asked, "If I release you, what are you going to do?" I answered," Believe me, I won’t do anything. I’ll only busy raising my kids and doing my household things. Only I asked God not let my husband to get a divorce from me. I have vowed my husband forgive me. If we separate, my children will have to be raised by step-mother, and..." He said, "Ok, is there anyone who will vouch for you?" While I showed myself disappointed, said, "No! No one! My relatives won’t do that. My husband will leave me if he understands you want to free me by guarantee; he won’t be willing to do this." I intended to make them sure that my husband has not any interference in these activities, and I wanted to push him away from their harm and danger. Nassiri said, "I myself vouch for you, but whenever you were summoned, should come quickly." I said: "Surely, now I'm free!" He said: "Now go and wait. I should think and see what I can do. You are dying, so there is no difference you die here or out; of course, it's better to die out of here. I won’t let another Imamzadeh, like Saeedi, to be created." In order to motivate and excite him more, I continued, "Please do me a favor and let me go free and tell my husband that he has no right to cut my head." He said, "Does your husband cut your head?" I answered, "Yes! Parviz told me that if I’m released, my husband will cut my head." He laughed and said to an agent, "Take care of her!" By saying such a low-class and vulgar sentences, I wanted to show myself as an easy mark, and insisted that I am not a clever woman and an ingenious fighter. And I have been involved in this state unfortunately; and I do not know how much I was succeeded in inducing such a thought.

One of the SAVAK agents who were there wrote down a number on a piece of paper and handed me and said that whenever I was informed about a plan or meeting, let them know. For completing the scenario, I took the paper and they returned me to my cell.

After a while, I was taken to the interrogation room. Manouchehri (interrogator) and Tehrani (the head of interrogators) had sat on a chair. Manouchehri asked, "Well, what do you do finally? Do you call or not?" I replied, "I'm not going to go anywhere to see anyone, but to make you know that I'm not an ungrateful fellow, I'm ready to do something for you." They both said, "What kind of thing?!" I turned to Manouchehri and said, "I remember you told me that you have an old mother and always a woman comes and does her works. I can also help her once a week, sweep the floor, and wash her clothes..." Suddenly, Manouchehri cried out angrily, "wretch, thick! You thought we’re simpleton. Now you want to find my home address? You exactly know that I didn’t mean helping in housework, but fill me in on about other saboteur’s activities...!" I said, "I'm not at my wits end." Hearing this, they raged and then tied my hands and began beating me up terribly and again returned me to my cell.

A few days later, they came and said that you had a chance; Nassiri vouched for you to be released, so, go and let us to get rid of this filthiness and stench! Then they took me to a room and showed me a piece of paper and ordered me to make a fingerprint stamp at the bottom. "I’m illiterate, so I don’t do that until you read it for me and let me know what’s been written; maybe you have given me the sentence of my execution..." I said. It seemed logical, therefore one of them began to read. And then I put my fingerprint stamp on the bottom of that written undertaking. So, forty deadly days full of tortures, abusiveness, and harassments came to an end.

To be continued…