Daughter of Sheena (43)

2015-8-10

Daughter of Sheena-43
Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi Kanaan
Wife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi Hajir
Memory writer: Behnaz Zarrabizadeh
Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)
Translated by Zahra Hosseinian

Early morning cries of Somayeh woke me up. She was hungry. I had to breastfeed her. She fell asleep as I got up and sat in my bed. Through the window I saw the sky was still dark. I looked at the clock; it was five and half. Getting up to perform ablution, again I heard the cries of Somayeh. I hugged and breastfed her. Mahdi had lain beside me and Khadija and Masumah slept side by side a little away. I felt sorry for them. How innocent and meekly they had slept. They were good and silent children. From dawn to dusk they were inside the house. Going from this room to that room, running after each other, playing, and watching TV, were their hobbies. They just spent days and nights in this way. For a moment I wished it would brighten earlier. Then, I would take my babies’ hands and take them to the street and buy something for them and make them happy. But what could I do with Somayeh. It was impossible to take a forty-day-old baby outside in that coldness. Somayeh sucked my breast and ate milk voraciously. I stroked her head and said: “My poor innocent baby, how hungry you are.”

I heard a sound from outside, as if someone was behind the door of room. I pulled out my breast from Somayeh’s mouth forcibly. She burst into tears. I went into the stairwell with fear and trembling, and quietly. I said: “Who’s this? Who’s this?!”

There was no sound. I thought it might have been a cat. Somayeh was crying continuously. I put a table behind the door. I went behind the door and said: “Who’s this?” someone was trying to unlocked. It was Samad. He said: “It’s me. Open the door.”

Happily I pushed the table aside and opened the door.

He laughed and said: “So, what have you done? Why it doesn’t open.”

Seeing the table he said: “O coward!”

He stretched his hand toward me and said: “Hello. How are you?!”

As he brought his face close to me, Mahdi and Khadija and Masumah, who had woken up to Somayeh’s crying, suddenly ran toward us in front of door. We both went back a few steps. Children happily were jumping around Samad. Kissing the kids, Samad looked at me and said: “Are you OK? Have you got better?!”

I laughed and said: “I’m very good. How are you?!”

Mahdi was in his arm and Masumah was pulling his uniform.

He said: ‘Hurry up. We must go. I’ve brought a car.”

Surprised, I asked: “Where?!”

He put Mahdi on the floor, hugged Masumah, and said: “I want to take you to the garrison. Last night they announced that commanders can bring their families there for a while. I moved nightly to come home and pick you up.”

The children ran joyfully. They washed their faces, wore their clothes. Samad also grabbed the TV from the corner of room and said: “This is enough. Everything is there. You just take clothes for children as much as possible.”

I said: “At least let me collect bedclothes and feed breakfast to kids.”

He said: “We’ll eat it on the way. Just hurry up, we must be at Sarpol-e Zahab until evening.”

I diapered Somayeh. I packed up clothes as much as I could for babies and myself. I clothed Mahdi and asked Masumah and Khadija to take his hand and said: “You go to get into.” I wrapped Somayeh up in a blanket.

It was Dey (January) and cold and biting. I put Somayeh into Samad’s arms. I locked the door and went to our next-door neighbor, Ms. Golgaz to say goodbye and also asked her to take care of our house. I saw Ms. Golgaz drew back the corner of curtain, looked at me, and waved happily when I got into the car.

Children began screaming and playing as the car moved. They were very happy. For a long time they hadn’t come out. As he was driving, Samad sometimes would sit Mahdi on his lap and give the steering-wheel to his hands; sometimes he would sit Masumah between me and himself and say: “Read a poem for Daddy.”

Also he sometimes would bend back and tease Khadija and ruffle her hair on her face.

Samad stopped the car as we arrived to Sahneh County [near Kermanshah]. We went into a coffee-house which was located along the road. Unlike its appearance, it served health and good breakfast. I hadn’t still eaten my breakfast that Somayeh woke up. I sat in car and breast-fed and diapered her. The same time I saw military vehicles were crossing the road; trucks of private contributions with Iran’s flag. Flags were waving in the wind strongly.

Coming back, Samad gave me a large morsel of bread and butter and jam and said: “You haven’t eaten breakfast. Eat it.”

 Again kids cried “Dad, Dad!” and Samad read poem, told stories and talked with them. Somayeh still was in my arms and sucking my breast. I looked at the road, snowy mountains, military vehicles, coffee houses, bare trees and the road that it didn’t drew to an end, whatever we progressed further.

I woke up when the car fell into a bump. In addition to moving in the road, military vehicles were into the dirt shoulder driving. Several tanks were moving out of the road. I turned and looked at the rear seat. Masumah had fallen asleep with an open mouth. Mahdi had left his head on Masumah’s foot and had slept. Khadija also had hugged Somayeh. Samad had hold steering-wheel with his both hands and stepped on the gas, and went forward. I said: “You gave Somayeh to Khadija?”

He said: “Yes. It was like you were very tired. Certainly she didn’t let you sleep last night. I felt sorry for you, so I said myself that I let you sleep comfortable.”

I bent back and took Somayeh from Khadija and said: “Give her to me, you get tired sweetheart.”

Samad turned and looked at me and said: “O Mother! How much kind you are!”

I laughed and said: “What's the matter, reading poem?”

He said: “I tell the truth. I realized how much child care is hard in this very few hours. How much patients are you. You get very tired, don’t you? Just taking care of Somayeh is enough to die. Now set aside Mahdi’s different kinds of questions and his garrulity and also Masumah and Khadija’s rows.”

As looking to the road, he put his hand on the gear and changed it, and said: “We’ll soon arrive there. I wish you could sleep again. I know you get very tired. You need to rest. Now, here, you can eat and sleep and rest for a while. Qadamkheyr! I swear that if the war is over, if I survive, I know what to do. I won’t let you to suffer hardship anymore.”

I turned and looked the rear seats. Khadija had fallen asleep as she was looking at the road. Somayeh slept in my arms. Samad said: “Now, the kids are asleep. It’s our turn to speak. So, tell me how are you? Are you OK? Healthy…?”

To be continued…