Daughter of Sheena (40)

This was the first time that a week after his going I still hadn’t any control over my life. I had no inclination to do housework. I would always say myself: “Qadamkheyr! You said yes and now you must expect the worst.” I would get up from this corner of room and sit down on the other corner. I remembered Samad had sat down there the week before. This time we were eating lunch together.

Daughter of Sheena (39)

Daughter of Sheena-39Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian It was near noon. I was cooking food when Samad called me. It was clear that he felt ill. “Qadamkheyr! My shoulder gives me a lot of pain.” He said, “Come here and see what has happened.” I rolled his blouse up. His back had been black and blue in the size of a five Toman coin; so seeing it causes extreme grief in me. I remembered that it may be the residual of shrapnel of that grenade, when he was fighting with hypocrites (MKO members).I said: “It’s the shrapnel of that grenade.”He said: “Go and bring a hot safety pin.”I said: “What do you want to do?...

Daughter of Sheena (38)

Daughter of Sheena-38Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian We came to Hamadan. I had left my house a few months. Everywhere was dusty and dirty. I was busy dusting and sweeping until evening. Happily and smiling Samad came home at night. He put a key into my hand and said: “This is the key of our own house.” I kissed the key joyfully. Samad was looking at me and smiling. “Our house is ready.” He said, “Tomorrow morning we can move there.” Tomorrow morning we went to our house. We brought some furniture too. It was a beautiful house. It had two bedrooms and a small hall and kitchen. Toilet set was out, up the stair case,...

Daughter of Sheena (37)

Daughter of Sheena-37Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian Chapter FifteenMahdi had been a rotund, chubby and forty days baby. He had just learned how to laugh. Masumah and Khadija would sit next to him for hours, play with him and express their joy for his laughing and floundering. But we all were worried about Samad. We would send message for anyone whom we guessed might possibly be in touch with him, perhaps to be aware of his health. They said Samad involved in operations. That's it.Sheena would grieve for me when she saw my state. She said: “Don’t give milk to your baby in the state of grief. You’ll make him...

Daughter of Sheena (36)

Daughter of Sheena-36Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian I was in the ninth month of my pregnancy. Samad came back home and stayed with me ten days. But as if the baby wouldn’t want to be born. We went to the doctor and the doctor said that baby wouldn’t bear at least one week later. Samad took us to Qayesh. “I’m going to back to the front.” He said, “I’ll return in three or four days.”As soon as Samad said goodbye, got into the car and left, the pain came to me. I wouldn’t want to believe it. This time Samad had promised me that he will be with me when my baby is bearing. So I had to endure. I had to wait...

Daughter of Sheena (35)

Daughter of Sheena-35Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian Babies had come to the room and been surprised to see me in new clothes. “I’m sorry,” taking my hand, Samad said, “I’m the guilty person. Forgive me. If I became angry, I couldn’t help it. I know that I went to extremes, but forgive me. You know you're the dearest one for me in all over the world. So far, I have not loved anyone in this world like you. Sometimes I think that lest loving you make me far from God; but when I come to think of it, I see that I’m closer to God by loving you. Every day I thank God hundred thousand times that finally we married....

Daughter of Sheena (34)

Daughter of Sheena-34Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian Samad went out the next morning. Returning home, he carried out several large nylon bags. Again he had gone shopping; from peas and beans to sugar, tea, loaf sugar and rice.I said: “This means that you want to return so soon?!”He said: “Not so soon, but I must go finally. I can’t stay here, so it’s better to do my tasks very soon. I don’t like you go to shop for one kilogram of lentils.”Then, as he would place nylon bags in the kitchen, said: “Yesterday, when I came home and saw you have gone to bakery queue, I hated myself.”I took the bags from his hand...

Daughter of Sheena (33)

Daughter of Sheena-33Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian Almost every day there was a state of red alert. Iraqi aircraft would break the sound barrier of the city two or three times a day and terrify people, and the glass windows of many houses and shops had broken. Masumah and Khadija would run toward me with horror and hide themselves in my arms, as soon as the red alert would occur and hearing the sound of sirens. Tappe Mosalla was in front of our house and the air defenses were based there. Our house would shake whenever they would begin to work, and it would brighten as the bullets were fired. The landlord would insist that...

Daughter of Sheena (32)

Daughter of Sheena-32Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian The next day Samad took us to Qayesh and he himself returned to the front. My babies and I stayed in Qayesh for one month. It was winter and a lot of snow had fallen. A few days after we returned to Hamadan, it got colder and snowed again. I was happy that when Samad had signed the lease, shifted shoveling snow on the roof onto landlord shoulder. On that cold and snowy weather I had many guests from Qayesh who wanted to go to Kermanshah. After dinner I found out that we had not any bread for breakfast. Early in the morning I got up and went to a bakery. It was very...

Daughter of Sheena (31)

Daughter of Sheena-31Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian Babies woke up by the sound of door opening and ran toward Samad. He hugged both of them and came into kitchen. A small nylon bag was in his hand too. He said hello. I answered him in a displeased mood. He held up the nylon bag in front of me and said: “Take this, please!” He kissed babies continuously and said terms of endearment to them. I was not on speaking terms with him. I said: “Put it on the cabinet.”He said: “No, I like you take it from my hand.”I took the nylon bag reluctantly. A purple scarf was inside it, a latest fashion big wooly one with large...