Daughter of Sheena 56
“Sattar had martyred. Our operation had leaked. We were being defeated. We had to come back. Many of my fellow comrades, who had martyred or were injured, were inside Iraqi territory. Enemy fire was so great that we couldn’t do anything. To those who had been safe, I said go back. You don’t know how hard it was the last moments; say farewell to fellow comrade, say farewell to Sattar.”Daughter of Sheena 55
The house was crowded by lots of guests. I ran into the courtyard. Samad had come; in what a situation! Thin and weak with tousled hair and black and emaciated face. I couldn’t bring myself to greet him in front of Sediqeh, or go ahead and say something. I hid behind a few people. I threw my Chador over my face and cried.Daughter of Sheena 54
The year of 1365 was a difficult year. I was the mother of five little kids at Twenty-four. I couldn’t deal with all my works single-handed. The war had reached to critical points. Samad had been involved in war and successive operations. Khadija was in the second year of primary school. Masumah was in the first year. I could go to Qayesh fewer because of my kid’s schooling. My father also couldn’t drop in on us because of Sheena’s illness.Daughter of Sheena (53)
Samad’s going to and coming back from Mecca took forty days. Ten days more also elapsed until he throw his parties. As the days passed, he became more impatient and said: “I'll go crazy. It is fifty days I haven’t heard about my guys. I don’t know in what situation they are. I should go soon.”Daughter of Sheena (52)
It happened as what Samad had said; pilgrimage changed my mood completely. In the mornings I would go to the shrine, pray the ones which were not said at the proper time, and I was engaged in prayer and pilgrimage. Sometimes, we would regret halfway, when leaving the shrine and getting back to the hotel. We could not bring ourselves to leave there, so we would return to the shrine again.Daughter of Sheena (51)
At night I packed my hold-all. Early morning, we would go to the office of Revolutionary Guard Corps. It was planned for the bus to move from there. We had sat in a great waiting hall.Daughter of Sheena (50)
Samad came back home a month later. This time he wanted to stay in Hamadan for two weeks. Unlike before, he himself realized that I was pregnant. Seeing my discomfort, he said: “These things shouldn’t make you upset. You should be very happy.Daughter of Sheena (49)
It was in June 1985. I felt ill a few weeks; going giddy and feeling sleepy. One day I decided to see a doctor. I asked our neighbor, Ms. Darabi, to take care of my kids a few hours, and I went to the clinic. After examination, doctor said: “It’s better to do these tests first.”Daughter of Sheena (48)
Arriving near the company houses, we saw some worried and anxious men were walking around. Seeing us, they ran toward us. One of them was Samad, with a tired and dusty face. We asked about barrack’s condition without any other word.Daughter of Sheena (47)
We got up and came out of the building. It was so smoky and dusty that we hardly could see a few steps away. We didn’t know where to go....
48
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