Daughter of Sheena 57

2015-11-16

Daughter of Sheena-57

Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi Kanaan

Wife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi Hajir

Memory writer: Behnaz Zarrabizadeh

Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)

Translated by Zahra Hosseinian

The next morning, we went to Qayesh. It was in the afternoon when Samad said: “Qadamkheyr! I want to go to the front. Let’s get back to Hamadan together?”

I said: “You want to go to the front, so want me for what? A few days I stay with Sediqeh and then I'll return.”

He said: “No, my Mom won’t doubt, if you come with me. But if I go alone, she’ll know that I want to go to the front. She is still mournful and heartbroken.”

We returned to Hamedan that afternoon. This time we brought Sattar’s daughter, Somayeh, with ourselves again. The next day, Samad woke up early, prayed and said: “Qadamkheyr! I’m going, please take care of our kids. Take after Sattar’s Somayeh too. Don’t let her be unhappy; also let her stay here till whenever she wants.”

I said: “When will you get back?!”

He said: “This time, very soon!”

***

Samad came back at the end of next week. He said: “I’ve come to stay a couple of weeks with you and kids.”

The first night, a sound made me woke up at midnight. I saw Samad wasn’t in bed. I was concerned. I got up and went into the hall. He wasn’t there too. The light of our trench, which had been built in courtyard, was on. I saw Samad has sat down on his prayer mat in the trench and was busy writing something.

I said: “Samad! You are here?!”

Embarrassed, he folded a paper and placed it between the pages of Quran.

I said: “What are you doing here this time of night?”

He said: “Come here and sit down, I want to tell you something.”

I sat in front of him. The trench was cold. I said: “Here is very cold.”

He said: “No problem! It’s important.”

He then put his hand on the Quran and said: “I’ve written my will. It’s between the pages of Quran.”

I got upset. I said indignantly: “You’ve made lots of noise and woke me up at midnight to tell this? Come off it!”

He said: “Listen. Don’t tease me Qadamkheyr!”

I said: “Please talk about good things.”

He laughed and said: “God knows it’s good. Really, it’s completely good!”

He picked up and kissed Quran. “It’s religious order.” He said, “Alive Muslim man must write his will. I’ve written everything for you to the full. After me, I don’t want your dues to be spoiled. I don’t have many properties, but half of whatever I have is yours and the other half is for kids. I’ve made my will to bury me here, in this city. After me, stay in Hamedan. It is better for children. After my martyrdom, if you find Sattar’s corpse, bury him next to me.”

 I had tears in my eyes and said: “God forbid that. O God! I die before you.”

He laughed and said: “In addition, you must practice to call me Sattar, Haj Sattar henceforth. After my martyrdom, no one will know me by the name of Samad. Practice now, otherwise, you yourself will be bothered!”

Personal name of Samad was Sattar and personal name of his brother, Sattar, was Samad. But everybody called them vice versa. Samad said: “In the front or at my workplace, if someone called me Samad, I think that either they’ve gone wrong or looked after my brother.” He was laughing and jokingly saying: “What was this dad did.”

I got up and angrily said: “I want to sleep. Good night, Haj Samad Agha!”

I got cold. I slid under quilt. I was freezing and my teeth were gnashing. On the other hand, Samad’s words had worried me.

The next morning, Samad woke up earlier than all of us. He went out and bought fresh bread and home-made cheese. He made breakfast, woke Masumah and Khadija up, give them their breakfast, and took them to the school. I was washing dinner dishes, when he returned. Somayeh and Zahra and Masumah were still sleeping. He came to help me. Then, he went into courtyard and brought a couple of sacks of cement, which were into the trench, and placed them under the staircase. After that, he checked the roof out. Then, he took a shower and put on a nice shirt, which he had bought it from Mecca for himself. He looked his best in it.

At noon, he went to the Khadija and Masumah’s school and picked them up. As I set up lunch, he dealt with Khadija and Masumah’s homework. “Kids, have your lunch. Take a break. Then, daddy will take you to the bazaar at afternoon.”

The kids were happy. We were eating lunch when the door was knocked. Kids opened the door. It was my husband's father. I don’t know how he had known that Samad has returned.

He said: “I’ve come here to go with you to the front. I want to look for Sattar.”

Samad said: “Dad! How many times I say. It’s not only your son’s… and our brother’s body that has left on the other side of the river. Many bodies are left there. We’re hopefully waiting for an operation to go beyond the Arvand and bring them.”

His father insisted: “I don’t understand these things. By hook or by crook, I must go to see where is my kid? If you don’t come with me, say it, I’ll go alone.”

Samad look at me and his father and said: “Dad! Sattar won’t come back by your coming. Get up right now to go with each other, come on, if you think anything will change. But I know it’s useless. You’ll just get tired.”

His father got upset. “I want to go; just don’t make excuse.” he said, “If you don’t want to come, tell me… I’ll go with Shamsollah.”

Full patiently Samad explained to his father that where Sattar’s corpse has left in the region. But his father didn’t accept at all. Samad made an excuse that Shamsollah is at front.

His father said: “I’ll go alone.”

Samad said: “I know you’ve missed him. Ok…, if you become happy in this way, I accept it. Tomorrow morning we’ll go to the region.”

My father-in-law said nothing else, but he went to Shamsollah’ house that night. He said: “I'm going to see his children.”

Children became unhappy when saw that Samad couldn’t bring them to bazaar. Samad began to play with them. Then he helped them in doing their homework; giving dictation to Khadija and writing a line of calligraphy at the top of a blank page for Masumah as a model to copy. I had stood in a corner and was watching him. Suddenly, he realized. Laughing he said: “Qadamkheyr! What’s happened for you today? Don’t cast an evil eye on me! Go and smoke some Esfand now.”

I said: “Now, do you really want to go?”

He said: “I'll be back soon, two or three days. My dad is sad, please understand him. He is bereaved. I’ll take him to the edge of Arvand to show where Sattar has martyred; then I'll be back soon.”

Laughing I said: “Yes! You come back soon!”

He laughed and said: “I swear to you, Qadamkheyr, I'll be back soon. I’ve taken leave. It may be two or three days, no more. Now, please bring two cups of tea, and appreciate these moments.”