Daughter of Sheena (34)

Behnaz Zarrabizadeh

Daughter of Sheena-34
Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi Kanaan
Wife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi Hajir
Memory writer: Behnaz Zarrabizadeh
Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)
Translated by Zahra Hosseinian

Samad went out the next morning. Returning home, he carried out several large nylon bags. Again he had gone shopping; from peas and beans to sugar, tea, loaf sugar and rice.
I said: “This means that you want to return so soon?!”
He said: “Not so soon, but I must go finally. I can’t stay here, so it’s better to do my tasks very soon. I don’t like you go to shop for one kilogram of lentils.”
Then, as he would place nylon bags in the kitchen, said: “Yesterday, when I came home and saw you have gone to bakery queue, I hated myself.”
I took the bags from his hand and said: “You don’t trust me!”
He got embarrassed, stopped and looked at me and said: “No ... no ... I mean no harm. I mean that you suffer because of me. If you didn’t marry me, now you were in your mom's house comfortable, just eating and sleeping.”
I laughed and said: “How much do I eat and sleep?!”
Emptying rice into a large tray, he said: “I myself clean all of them. Deal with your works.”
I said: “The best work is sitting here beside you.”
He smiled and said: “Oh… it’s like you know now what to do. Bravo, bravo. So sit down here next to me and let's clean them together.”
In the kitchen, we sat down beside each other, cleaned peas and beans and rice until noon; and talked and laughed.
After lunch Samad wore his clothes and said: “I want to go to the Guards office. I'll come back soon.”
I said: “Do we go out afternoon?”
Surprisingly he said: “Where?!”
I said: “Nowruz celebration is near. I want to buy some new clothes for babies.”
Suddenly I saw that he turned pale and his lips became white. He said: “What! buying clothes for Nowruz?!”
I had wondered more than him. I said: “I said wrong words!”
“You mean that I take my babies hand and go to shop new clothes! Then how answer to martyrs’ children. That is… I don’t feel ashamed of them?!”
I said: “Now as if they have stood just up the street to see us! Suppose that they see us, they don’t understand where we are going.”
He sat down at the center of room and said: “Oh… oh…, you aren’t there to see how every day we lose some good guys in front of our eyes. Many of them have wife and children. Now, it’s near the Nowruz, who buys new clothes for them?”
I sat down in front of him and said stubbornly: “I’m sorry. I made a mistake. My babies don’t want new clothes.”
He said: “Did you get upset?”
I said: “Very much! You aren’t here to see my life; when you were beside me and your children?! God knows our life is almost like martyrs’ children life.”
He became angry and said: “Don’t speak like this. Every work we all of us do is our duty. It’s a must for us. We have to do it; without reminding somebody of their indebtedness because of a favor done to them. As long as there is war, we don’t have Nowruz celebration from this day. We are sympathetic to martyrs' families.”
I got up, went to other room, and angrily said: “I said that that’s ok. I'm sorry. I made a mistake.”
He got up, walked around the room, and then went out and shut the door.
Until afternoon I had had my spirit dampened. I had put on long face and sat in a corner. Neither were I in the mood for dealing with children, nor I was in a good temper to get up and do something. I had gotten mad. I had a lump in my throat that hurt me.
It had been darkened and Samad had still not returned home. “See, Samad went without saying goodbye.” I said myself. On the one hand I was mad with him and on the other hand I had missed him. I was also frustrated at myself. I feared that he angered of me and went.
I had had no hope. I got up and turned lights on. I performed my Wudhu to be prepared for praying. At the same time, my heart broke and I said: “God, I made mistake, forgive me! What was this work I did? Please return my Samad to me.”
I was in a tumult. Suddenly I heard the sound of door opening. I understood that Samad has come back when I heard the voice of babies’ laughter and screaming. I prayed. Samad was calling me: “Qadamkheyr! Dear Qadamkheyr! Where are you?”
I was tickled pink. I came into the room and saw he put two big bags beside the cushion and has hugged babies. I said hello gently.
He smiled and said: “Hi, my lady Qadamkheyr. How are you?”
I didn’t say anything to him and answered displeased.
But I was tickled pink. “See what I’ve bought for you.” he said, “I hope you like them.” And he pointed to the bags which were next to the cushion.
I went into the kitchen and busy myself with cooking. But I completely concentrated on him. He had bought new clothes for babies and was dressing them. Babies came into kitchen with new clothes out of blue. I was worried lest their clothes dirtied, so hugged and brought them into the room.
Seeing me, he said: “You don’t give me a cup of tea, at least come here and see do you like the clothes I’ve bought for you?!”
When he understood I didn’t say anything easily, he smiled and said: “Please laugh my dear.”
I laughed. “Now that you laughed, that bag for you.” He said “Qadamkheyr, I swear that if you want to frown, just right now I get up and go. Some of my friends are going to go to the front tonight.”
I noticed that the case is serious and I shouldn’t behave coquettishly. I took the bag and went to other room and wore them. His taste was excellent as always. He had bought me a type of embroidered blouse and skirt, which was fashionable. I was looking up and down myself through mirror that he suddenly came into the room and said: “Excellent ... Qadamkheyr! How pretty you look. You look well in it.”
I got embarrassed and said: “Thank you. Can you go out of room? I want to change my clothes.”
He took my hand and said: “What! You want to change your clothes?! No. you must wear them at home. I said that we won’t celebrate Nowruz. But whenever we are beside each other and you laugh, it’s a celebration.”
I said: “But this is evening dress.”
He smiled and said: “I am your guest. You mean that isn’t possible wear it for me?”
I gave up. He took my hand and said: “Sit down.”

To be continued…