Daughter of Sheena (17)

Behnaz Zarrabizadeh

Daughter of Sheena-17
Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi Kanaan
Wife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi Hajir
Memory writer: Behnaz Zarrabizadeh
Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)
Translated by Zahra Hosseinian

I passed a sleepless that night. Samad and Haj Agha came back home tomorrow morning. “Since we were united all together, they freed Soltan Hussein.” they were happy and said, “otherwise, there’s no knowing that what the hell gave him.”
Near noon, Samad got ready. He wanted to go to Tehran. I was upset. "Don’t go.” I said, “Our baby might be born today or tomorrow. Then where should we find you?”
As always with a smile he replied: "Don’t worry. I’ll be back on time.”
I frowned. He took his coat off and sat down. "I won’t go, if you're upset. But as a matter of fact, I have no money. After all, wasn’t I supposed to buy some baby clothes and bric-a-brac the next time I go to Tehran?!”
I prepared some food for him. I recommended him to buy what clothes, after he ate his food. I saw him off by the door. In the time of saying goodbye, I said: “Do not forget blanket; a woolen blanket which has just been in fashion. It should be very gorgeous. Please buy a pink one.”
When he was turning at the corner of alley, I cried: “Don’t go to the demo anymore. It’s risky. We're looking forward.”
I returned home. Suddenly, it was like all the house was fallen debris on my head. It was so gloomy and dark. I couldn’t take it. I threw my Chador over my head and went to my Haj Agha’s house.
Two days elapsed of Samad’s leave. I felt that my overall condition isn’t like every day, when I woke up for morning prayers. I felt some back pain and stomachache. "I must endure it.” I said to myself, “the baby isn’t born so soon.”
I did my house works in whatever way. I cooked lunch. There were some dirty clothes, I went to courtyard and into the snow and cold of Qayesh’s winter and washed them.
It had been noon. I came to the end of my endurance. I went to Khadija’s home with deplorable state. She sent one of her children to call midwife and herself came with me to my house.
Sharp pain made me cry loud. Khadija continuously fed me hot water and sugar-candy and saffron infusion.
A little awhile, Shirin jan and my sisters also came to my home. It was afternoon. Near Adhan , my baby was born. I will never forget that night. I rose on my elbows with deplorable state, as I heard a voice. I wished the door was opened and Samad came in. Although the cry of baby didn’t let me to sleep well, but I dreamed Samad as I fell asleep for a moment and I jumped out of my bed in panic.
A week was elapsed from the birth of baby. I heard the sound of the door, while I was laying baby in the cradle. Shirin jan was in the room and looking after me and baby. She went out of the room before Samad came in.
Samad sat down beside my bed and looked down. Gently he said hello. I answered under my breath. He took my hand and asked me how I am. I answered in displeased mood. “Are you shunning me?” He said. I did not answer.
He pressed my hand and said: “You’re right.”
I said: "Your baby has been born a week ago. I didn’t tell you don’t go. You said you came back on time. This is our first child, shouldn’t you stay beside me?!”
He said nothing. He got up and went toward his hold-all. Zip it open and said: “I accept everything you say. But look what I have brought for you. You don’t know I found it with such hardship. See that’s it.”
He held the woolen blanket in the air and shook it in front of my eyes. It wasn’t pink; it was blue with white fringes. It was just what I wanted. Square and on one of its corners had been embroidered with dark blue and blue and white yarns.
I took the blanket and put it next to the cradle. “You don’t know how hard was buying this blanket.” Enthusiastically he said, “I went with two of my friends. They rode behind me on the motorcycle and we searched for this blanket in the streets. One of them was looking this side of street; the other one was looking that side. Finally, I myself founded it. It had been hanged behind a store window.”
Gently I said: “Thank you.”
Again, he pressed my hand and said: “I thank you. You suffered a lot of pain. I wish I was here. Forgive me. Qadamkheyr! I know it was my fault. If you don’t forgive me, what should I do?”
Then he bent, kissed my hand, and put it over his eyes. It got wet.
He said: "Give me my daughter to see her.”
I said: "I am not feeling well. Take her yourself.”
He said: "No... If it doesn’t bother, please put her in my hug. Taking the baby from you has other pleasure.”
My back and abdomen still suffered pain; however, I bent hardly and picked up my baby from cradle and put her in his hug.
He kissed the baby and said: "Thanks God, What a beautiful and cute baby.”
Samad invited family that night and entertained them. And my father named our first child, Khadija.
After the party, when we allowed things to quit down, I asked him: “How many days you stay?”
He replied: “As you wish, ten or fifteen days.”
I said: “So what about you work?”
He said: “Construction of building has been finished. It’s over. I’ll go for finding new job two or three weeks later.”
It was not like he came back home to be with us. He was not at home, either he was at Razan or Hamedan or Damagh. I was busy looking after of baby and doing house works. One night I had spread the spread and was arranging dishes in it. Samad had turned on his radio as always and held it by his ear. I brought the cooking pot. “Leave it,” I said, “let’s eat dinner. I'm very hungry.”
He didn’t come. I sat down and looked at him. I saw that he suddenly put the radio on the floor and got up. Into the air he snapped his finger and spun around the room. Then he went toward Khadija and took her from cradle. Hugged and kissed her and lifted her up by one hand.
I got up in shock and took the baby and said: “What's doing Samad. What are you doing with baby? This baby still has not been one month old. You make her crazy!”
He spun and laughed and said: “thanks God. Thanks God!”
I laid Khadija into the cradle. Samad came toward me, took my shoulders, and shook me. Then he kissed my head and said: “Qadamkheyr! Imam is coming. Imam is coming. I should die for you and your baby who bring so good luck to me.” Then he grabbed his coat from the coat rack.
I was lost in astonishment. I said: “Where do you go?”
He said: “I want to inform my friends that Imam is coming!”
Laughing he said these and danced for joy. Samad’s noise had waked up Khadija. I said: “So what about dinner? I'm hungry.”
He returned and looked at me sharply, said: “Imam is coming. Then you are hungry. God knows my appetite was spoiled. I’m completely full.”
I looked at him flabbergasted. I said: "I don’t eat dinner until you come back.”
Long time passed. He didn’t come back. My stomach growled badly. So I ate my dinner. I was folding the spread when Khadija woke up. She was hungry. I breast-fed her, changed her diaper, and laid her into cradle. Then I sat down next to the window and kept my eyes glued to the darkness of night. I fell asleep there.

To be continued…