Daughter of Sheena (6)

Behnaz Zarrabizadeh

Daughter of Sheena-6

Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi Kanaan
Wife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi Hajir
Memory writer: Behnaz Zarrabizadeh
Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)
Translated by Zahra Hosseinian

Alone and with a bundle of clothes, Samad’s mother came in the afternoon. My mother thanked and put that bundle in the center of room, pointed out to me to open it. Reluctantly I sat in the center of room and opened the bundle’s knot. There were some blouse, skirt and clothes which I did not like. Without any thanks, just as I had opened the bundle, I folded the clothes, put them in the bundle, and tied the knot.
Samad's mother knew, but did not say anything. My mother was biting her lips, moving her eyebrows up and down, and pointing to me to thank, to smile and to say they are very nice and I liked them; but I said nothing. Peevishly I sat in the corner of room.
Samad's mother explained everything for him. A few days later, Samad came. He had worn a hat to cover his bald head. Also he had carried a hold-all bag by his hand. As always, he smiled when saw me and said: "You’re welcome!"
I took the hold-all bag and ran toward one of the basement rooms, without saying anything. He followed me and called me. I stopped. “Don’t get away from me for the God’s sake, Qadamkheyr!” He took a paper from his pocket by the door of room and said, “Look, this is my leave paper. For sake of you I’ve got a leave from the military base. I’ve just come to see you.”
I looked at the paper, but since I was illiterate, knew nothing of it. It was like Samad had understood, too. "It is my leave paper. It was one day, but I changed it to two, so that to stay one more day and see you. I whispered to God that nobody understands. If they understand that I’ve manipulated my leave paper, they give me hell."
In the meantime, I was afraid if someone comes and sees us talking to each other. I said nothing and walked into the room. I do not know why he didn’t come in. "So, at least tell me what to do.” Just by the door of room he said, “If you don’t love me, tell me, so that I think about myself."
Again, I had no answer. The room had a door which would open into another room. I went to that room. Samad went too without saying goodbye. The hold-all bag was in my hand. I sat somewhere and opened it. He had bought me some blouses and skirts and scarves. I liked his taste. I do not know what happened then that suddenly I had a heavy heart. I collected clothes, put them into the hold-all bag and zipped it. Then, I ran into the yard. Samad was not there, he had gone.
He didn’t come next day. He didn’t came the day after tomorrow too, and the next days. Little by little I became worried about him. I couldn’t tell my grievance to anybody. I felt shameful to ask my mother whether she knew about Samad. I heard the women said that the military base was in the state of alert and soldiers couldn’t get a leave, one day I had gone to the spring. In the house, my father would speak about the anti-shah street demonstration, that there was curfew in most cities, and people would shout anti-shah and anti-government slogans; but our village was safe and people had their quiet lives.
A month passed since I had seen Samad last time. My brother and Khadija came to our house that day, and we all sat on the porch. Like all rural houses, the door of our house was always open but at nights. I heard someone was calling behind the door: "hallo ... hallo ...” it was Samad. By hearing his voice, I felt different mood for the first time. My heart was throbbing. My brother, Iman, ran toward the door and after greeting, offered him to come in. As always, Samad smiled and said hello as he saw me. I felt my face is taking fire. It was as if two hot skimmers had been put on my cheeks. I looked down and went into room. Khadija offered Samad to come into room. I went out as he came in. I was ashamed of speaking with Samad in the presence of my brother or sit down in the room where Samad had sat. Samad stayed one hour and talked with my brother and Khadija. He got up, said goodbye and went when he was disappointed of seeing me. In the porch, he saw me and in sarcastic tone said: "I'm sorry to disturb you. I bothered you much. Send Haj Agha and Shirin Jan my greeting."
Then he said goodbye and left. "You make a mess again, Qadamkhyr!” Khadija called me and said, “Why didn’t you come in? Poor Samad! Look what he’s brought for you." and pointed to the suitcase in her hand: "Crazy girl! He’s brought it for you."
I had been so embarrassed by seeing Samad that I hadn’t seen suitcase in his hand at all. Khadija took my hand and we went together to one of our interconnected rooms. We secured the door with a blot and opened the suitcase. Samad had stuck on a large photo of him inside the suitcase lid and had glued adhesive tape around it. Khadijah and I burst out laughing by seeing his photo. Suitcase was full of dresses and textiles. He had put some scented Aroos soap through them, so to make everything smell good.
Dresses had been folded very tastefully. "Good for you, Qadamkheyr! How much he loves you.” Khadija jested and said.
Iman, who had followed us, was knocking on the door. “Let’s hide the suitcase somewhere, Khadija!” with an extreme anxiety I stood up and said.
Khadija was surprised: "Why should we hide it?"
I would feel shameful if Iman sees the suitcase. "If Iman sees Samad’s photo, he’ll think that I’ve gave him mine."
"Why have you locked the door? Open it.” Again, Iman knocked the door and said.
We tried to take off the photo, but we couldn’t; As if the back of the photo had been glued too that it wasn’t taken off easily. "Look, it is like he has stuck his photo by two-part glue. How much he is self-satisfied.” Khadija jokingly said.
Iman knocked the door such hard that it was nearly pulling out. We found out that there is no other option and we can’t take off the photo at all. We shut the suitcase lid and hide it under the beds, which had been stacked in the corner of room. Khadija opened the door for him. Noticed there is something fishy going on, Iman first looked around the room and then said: "Where is the suitcase? What had Samad brought for Qadamkheyr?"
In a mumble and whisper, I said to Khadija:"I swear you to secrecy."
Khadija kept Iman amused, drew his hand and took him away.

To be continued…