SABAH (39)

Memoirs of Sabah Vatankhah

Interviewed and Compiled by Fatemeh Doustkami
Translated by Natalie Haghverdian

2020-12-8

SABAH (39)

Memoirs of Sabah Vatankhah

Interviewed and Compiled by Fatemeh Doustkami

Translated by Natalie Haghverdian

Published by Soore Mehr Publishing Co.

Persian Version 2019

Zahra broke the news of Ali’s martyrdom to her uncle early in the morning and brought him to the mosque. Then she asked Hassan, Abdollah Ma’avi, and me to accompany her uncle to the morgue and claim Ali’s body. She was worried that the process of looking for a vehicle to take her family to Sarbandar might take long and the authorities at morgue would bury Ali as unknown martyr.

When Zahra was leaving, I stood at her way and said: “Zahra, are you sure that you do not want to tell your mom about Ali’s martyrdom?! Ali is her oldest son. You say it yourself that she loves him to the end of the world and is so attached to him. Her wish to see her son for the last time will remain in her heart forever!”

Zahra said that she has been trying hard to convince herself to do this but she cannot do it now. She was afraid her mother would not be able to take it. If anything would have happened to Da, who would take care of young children in this situation?! When I saw that she has made up her mind, I told no more and we said goodbye.

Hossein and Abdollah looked for a car but could not find any. The only vehicle in the area was the new ambulance which had just arrived from Abadan. We begged the driver to accompany us for one hour, but he did not accept. He said: “I have come from Abadan to transport injured to the hospital and cannot do anything else.”

When we went to him for a few times and explained our situation that we want to go to the hospital and claim the body of our martyr and burry him and if we are late, the employees of the morgue will bury him as unknown martyr, he finally accepted to took us to the hospital. Meanwhile Zahra had arranged for Da and her siblings to be transported and had returned to the mosque. She said: “I sent them all. Only Leila stayed. She is helping Zeynab and I in Jannat Abad. I told her: “did you tell her about the martyrdom of Ali?” she said: “no I haven’t seen her yet. I tried my best to call Jannat Abad and inform Zeynab but the line was cut and I did not succeed. I want to ask Zeynab to find Leila and tell her the news so that she won’t be shocked when we arrive there.” I said: “hopefully nothing will happen.”

Zahra, her uncle and I cried non-stop until we got to Abadan. In the hospital, Ma’avi and Hossein Eydi and I were standing at the entrance of the morgue while Zahra and her uncle claimed the body. They delivered his body wrapped in the same blanket which was wrapped around him last night. Abdollah and Hossein helped Zahra and her uncle to place him in the ambulance.

Zahra sat above Ali’s head. She hugged his head and started combing his hair with her fingers. She was extracting the soil and small stones which were stuck in his hair. She constantly leaned over him and kissed his face and smelled him. Zahra started talking to Ali. She was going through the bitter and sweet memories of their childhood. She was talking about the hardship in their life; poverty and lack of money. She talked and cried.

Zahra said: “Dear Ali, do you remember that you had to drop out of school when you were in primary high school and go to work as a laborer since we had financial difficulties? Do you remember that you did everything from plumbing to construction to help us with the finances?! Do you remember that we all sat around Da and cleaned dates so that Da would take them to sell to support our livelihood?[1]”

I had a lot of friends but none of them were as poor as Zahra. When I went to their house to conceal Ali’s weapon, I saw their simple living and realized their situation. Of course this poverty had made Zahra a resilient and patient individual and many people envied her for her great spirit.

While she was talking, we were all crying, specially her uncle. He was begging Zahra to stop: “please stop. You are killing us all.” But Zahra could not keep calm. It seemed that she had many things to tell Ali. Talks they had never had the chance to have. Her words would melt the stone, let alone our hearts!

Ali had a beautiful smile on his face. His half-open eyes were looking at his sister; a sister who should fill the empty place of him and his father for her mother, little sisters and brothers. What a difficult responsibility was put on Zahra’s shoulders on one night!

The shrapnel had torn Ali’s right thigh and also his right side. The shrapnel pieces had reached his heart. Besides his beautiful smile, his knotted fists had a lot to say. He had resisted until the last minute. It seemed that he had not felt pain when being martyred. We had decided to take Ali to Jameh mosque for farewell and then go to Jannat Abad. The ambulance stood at the entrance of the mosque. Many friends came quickly and gathered around the car. Many were crying loudly; especially those who knew that only a few days had passed from the martyrdom of the father of this sister and brother. Zahra turned to friends and said: “why are you crying? Today is my brother’s wedding … you should not cry for him. You have to be happy for him …” The people became more emotional with these words and the crying voices mounted.

We stayed at the entrance of mosque for a few minutes and then continued our way to Jannat Abad. Zahra cried the whole way. The ambulance entered Jannat Abad and we all dismounted. A few soldiers of army and a few employees of municipality had also come for his burial. Zeynab khanum came towards us and started hitting herself. She hit her head and chest saying: “Dear son, God bless your wedding! Dear Ali, happy matrimony!” she was crying when uttering these words and was scratching her face.

Zahra told her: “please don’t do this. You are discouraging us. Where is Leila?” Zeynab khanum said: “don’t worry, she is not here. She has gone to run some errands and will not return soon.”

Zeynab khanum told Zahra that she has arranged for water and shroud for Ali and wants to send him to be washed and clothed. Although it was very hard to find water for washing and cloth for clothing the bodies in that situation but Ali was both washed and clothed.

Until that moment I did not know where the grave of Zahra’s father was. I saw that they took Ali to a section in graveyard besides a newly buried grave. Zeynab khanum knocked on the grave fast saying: “Seyyed Hossein! Seyyed Hossein! We have brought Seyyed Ali! Rise and claim him. Your estranged son has come … rise!”

In the area that we were standing, all graves were full except for one. It was as if they knew that this son was supposed to be martyred soon and be buried besides his father. As if this grave was saved for Ali. As we were standing beside the grave, waiting to put Ali in the grave, we saw Leila walking towards us. I knew Leila. She used to come to the mosque with Zahra. I was shocked. I did not know what Zahra wanted to tell her.

Leila approached us. She greeted us. She was surprised to see the bloodshot faces of Zahra, her uncle and us. Then she walked forward slowly towards Zahra and said: “What has happened? Have you brought a martyr? Who is he?”

Zahra answered after a pause: “he is one of the army forces.” Leila asked: “Do I know him?” Zahra said: “yes.”

Leila looked at our faces again and said unbelievingly: “Is he our Ali?!”

Zahra nodded. Leila shouted Ya Hossein and started crying and hugged her. Two sisters cried for a few minutes hugging each other. We were all crying. Her uncle was more restless and hit his face and head. After a few minutes Zeynab khanum parted them and said that the martyr should not wait more.

When they opened his face, his smile had become more beautiful. His shining face had no trace of the yellow signs of a dead person. His smile was so beautiful that surprised those who saw it. His face was more beautiful than yesterday when I saw him.

When I was looking at his face, I could see the meaning of all verses of Quran which I had read and heard about fighting in the path of God and martyrdom. Ali’s face was so happy that everybody who could see him would understand that he has gone with full satisfaction from this world. I really wanted to know what he has seen at the moment of martyrdom that has made his departure so calm and beautiful.

I was shaking as I was crying. I could not do anything. Zeynab khanum was right. Ali was very estranged. Only a few people like us were attending his funeral and burial ceremony. Zahra went inside the grave and with the help of Hossein, Abdollah and her uncle, they placed Ali inside the grave. Then she opened her shroud and opened his face. I was thinking to myself that Zahra would faint any minute now, but the God had given her so much faith and strength that she did not let anybody else to bury her martyred brother. Our emotional state was worse than those of Ali’s sisters. Ali did not have Lahad Stone. Zahra placed the cover of an ammunition box on him and poured soil with her hands with care. Leila had kneeled beside the grave and was talking to her dad. She was constantly calling him to take Ali’s hand and not to leave him alone.

There were strange and difficult moments. We were all feeling bad. When I met Ali yesterday, I could not even imagine that within 24 hours I will be sitting beside his grave. I tried my best but could not even pour one handful of soil on the stone. I could not pour soil on this young man with my hands. If instead of him, my brother Ali or one of my brothers was lying here, I could not pour soil on them either.

After a few seconds, Zahra’s uncle pulled her out of the grave. He then started filling the grave with soil with the help of Ma’avi brothers. When they finished, we all kneeled beside the grave and started reciting Fateha. Zeynab khanum started telling us the story of one empty grave among the other graves. She said: “on the same day, when Zahra’s father was buried, they dug this grave for another martyr. But then they noticed that water is pouring inside the grave and nobody can be buried there. Therefore we waited for the grave to dry. The water did not dry. This morning, when I went to check on the grave, I saw that the water has finally dried after a few days and is ready for burial. At the same moment your ambulance arrived and brought the owner of the grave to Jannat Abad!”

We sat beside Ali’s grave almost an hour after his burial. Zahra was in control of herself but Leila and her uncle were very restless. After one hour, Leila stayed in Jannat Abad with Zeynab khanum and we all returned to the mosque.

To be continued …